Friday, April 16, 2010

i'M noT sTroNg

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have. Right after I chat with MR. LO, I get into the toilet and I

I can't help it... The pain come again.. I tried to hold the tears from coming out but it hurt me so. I felt like my chest was going to explode..


If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will. My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you, my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you. Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine. Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was NEVER mine?

For me, moving on is simple, but what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most. Every few nights or so you came into my dreams, I just can't get rid of you like you got rid of me. There’s a time I had a dream and it was about you ... I smiled and recalled the memories we had ... then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ... you know why? Because in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye ...

I know a million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried. My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now is in pieces because of you. You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried? Ask me how many times my heart has been broken and I will tell you to look in the sky and count the stars.

Loving you was easy, losing you was hard. Loving you is still easy, but knowing you are no longer mine, is the hardest of it all. Why is it easy to fall in love and yet so hard to be loved back? Why should I feel such if destiny permits me not? Why do I have to fall if it's you I can’t have? Why is there a "you" in "me" but never a "me" in "you"?


I wish I can do you like this....I really wish I can......because I really want to.

But I can't... You not a toy... You not small.... And what's more important, you are not here with me.. (so, you can thank God because you are not here).

Sometimes it's better to be alone.
No one can hurt you that way.




Sad and gloomy,
Miz Vamp


4 comments:

Gadis Imaginasi said...

BE STRONG MISS VAMP DEAR~ :)
ADA BETUL NYA KATA KATA KAW TU.TAPI BIASELAH LIFE MEMANG MACAM TU.MAYBE NI CABARAN KAW.TABAH OKEY!

AKU SENTIASA SOKONG KAW!
GO MV! GO MV! GO MV! *ewahhh*

Miss Vamp said...

I'll try..aku masih mncri kekuatan terutama ble b'kaitan mr.LO tu.well, life is difficult but yet,wonderful.

Thanks coz be there 4 me when I need u.I guess fren is better than bf coz true fren KEEP their promises n stay when u hepi or down,rite?

The best part is, true fren is 4EVER like you my syg,GI..hehe.Luv u soo MUCH.hehe

Gadis Imaginasi said...

YEAHHH~ ACTUALLY WE DONT NEED A BF BUT WE ONLY NEED A HUSBAND.WAH-WAH! ;P

kalau nak ikut dalam islam pun kite dilarang bercinta sebelum kawen kan.hurmm.tape,jodoh kaw ada kat luar sana tu cuma belum masa lagi nak jumpa.jeng jeng jeng! hidup ni memang byk kejutan~ :)

yeshhh! i love you moree. :))

Miss Vamp said...

yup..i agree sgt2..nk kawan jer..then smpai mase,teros kawin..hahhah